I feel drained

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Burnout - what does it look like and how to recover from it.

I see so many people who feel drained, burned out and exhausted. Many of my clients feel as though they are on a constant wheel, just churning through their days rather than living.

Most people know that they feel stressed but they don't really realise that they are burning out until it’s too late and they can’t function anymore.

But how do you know that you’re burning out? What is the difference between burnout and stress?

Well, here are some of the signals which indicate you need to turn the heat down before you burn out.

  1. Excessive Cynicism

Think of stress and burnout like a jar. Stressful circumstances gradually fill it up.  People let you down, bills fly out of your bank account, colleagues turn up late, you haven't been sleeping. Whilst this is going on your stress hormones have been filling up your jar and your on high alert. Your nerves start to get stimulated and you feel yourself speeding up. By the time you get home, you’re feeling frazzled and your partner gets it in the neck for not making the bed.

Don’t get me wrong, irritability isn’t always a sign of burnout. We might get fed up with hearing about our friends 100th dating disaster, but if you’re getting to the stage where everyone is getting on your nerves and you repeatedly can’t tolerate people, or you’re getting increasingly angry and irritable over really insignificant things. If this is happening, you’re probably getting far too stressed. You might need to think about taking your foot off the accelerator, because you could be moving towards emotional burnout.

2. You've been feeling ‘on fire’ and then suddenly you feel nothing.

Being stressed over a long period of time can make us feel highly stimulated or ‘on fire’. Have you ever felt like your body is speeding up? Extra fidgety or like you’re mind is churning over and over. You may even start talking slightly faster than normal. This is your body responding to constant stress hormones filtering in and keeping you on high alert. As a result you might find yourself rushing around at a million mile an hour, trying to fit as many things into your day as possible. This goes on for a while and you can keep it up until suddenly start to feel detached.

Your partner hugs you and you feel nothing. Hours go by and all you have done is binge watch TV without even taking in the story line.

Your friend messages you and you have absolutely no desire to go out. All this time moving at hyper speed has a consequence and your body has to stop you somehow. And it does so by detaching you from the world.

3. You lose your confidence

Due to the fact that you are running out of fuel, you start to underperform. Tasks that you would normally do without thinking start to seem hard. It requires more effort for you to do things and you start making mistakes. You’re too tired to perform to the best of your ability. Other people, like your boss, may start to notice and pick you up on it. And so, you start to question yourself.

You think that you can’t do your job anymore and instead of focusing giving yourself a break, you thrash your brain even harder. You sit and try to think your way out of it. Should I change my job, location, friends? Why don’t I feel anything when she/he hugs me? What is that weird sensation in my body? Why am I tired all the time? What is wrong with me?

The end result.

Your mind becomes anxious with all of these endless thoughts which pumps adrenalin into your already exhausted body, you then become pre-occupied and start making mistakes or under performing. You then lose your confidence, which means more bad thoughts, which means more Adrenalin, which means more detachment from the world.

So what can you do about it?

The first step to dealing with anything is to notice it. If you can recognise that you’re burning out then that’s half the battle. Knowledge is power.

The second thing is to recognise that thinking your way through this wont work. Let those thoughts come in and tell you that your crap but don’t engage in them or give them power.

The next is to start forward planning and give yourself some space and time. If you have to get your shopping delivered so that you can come home earlier and have a soak in the bath, then do it.

Start becoming a bit more selfish for a couple of weeks, and start saying no to things if you think that you’re taking on too much.

Start being kind to yourself about your situation. We all suffer burnout at some point (except buddhist monks, they probably don’t). Burnout comes after a period of prolonged stress caused by financial problems, relationship break ups, illness etc. No one is immune, so don’t sit there worrying that you are abnormal if all of a sudden you can’t cope.

Choose to do one thing each day that nourishes you. Buy your favourite coffee, get your mum to make you dinner. Go for a drive with no planned destination.

All of these small things can, with time, build up to a more resistant you.

You can also use the recording below to help you to relax and help to beat burnout so that it doesn’t take over. Helping you to take control. Be calm and be more resilient.

Or give me a call to arrange a session on 07525051263.

Burnout Audio

A recording to help you to tackle and beat burnout or emotional exhaustion

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Anxiety is actually your friend. It just needs training

The title above may shock you but honestly, watch the video below and you'll see what I mean. 

The girl in this short film is battling against a creature that stays by her side constantly. Waiting for her to encounter social interactions, dating, work or anything that pushes her out of her comfort zone.

Her crocodile clings to her, wont leave her alone and lets her know that its around.

Anxiety does this too.

It sits in the shadows, always there, ready to protect you whenever it thinks you’re in danger. However, sometimes it gets a bit too excited and starts to misbehave. It starts to suffocate you at work, home and everywhere else. You feel uncomfortable when you go out. You feel terror when you would otherwise feel normal and confident.

Just like the crocodile, we don’t understand why its happening. Why we cant just do that presentation, why we are starting to shake in the queue in Tesco. So we begin to hate the feeling. Just like the girl does in the video. She throws the crocodile out the window, pushes it away and begs it to stop.

But the more she fights the more it clings on.

When you experience anxiety, you might start to worry about it, wonder whether people will notice and pray that it will go away. You might tense yourself when you feel it coming on or get frustrated and enter into an internal battle with yourself about how you wish you were the person that existed before anxiety. You become self conscious and start to back out of your normal activities, just in case it comes back and people will see how scared you are.

You become less confident, less likely to say yes to things and as a result the anxiety grows bigger.

The girl in this film realised that fighting and pushing the crocodile away didn’t work. She recognised that the crocodile was there to protect her. It was loyal to her but it had no boundaries. She discovered that she could live with the crocodile but began to gently train it to sit at her side rather than climb all over her and suffocate her life.

The honest truth is that we cant get rid of anxiety because its built in to our very make up. It is there to keep us alive and has been doing so since the beginning of our existence as a species.

It’s there to alert us when we are in danger which makes it the most loyal, advanced and responsive part of ourselves.

It is actually one of the biggest assets a human has and you can use it to your advantage.

However, sometimes it needs a bit of training. The key to letting go of anxiety is to stop fighting it. Instead, you can see it as something that is trying to help you and with more confidence you can view seeing yourself as someone who has the ability to cope, to achieve, to succeed.

I can help you to do this. I work with people by helping them to change their relationship with anxiety. I help them to train the anxiety to become something that serves them, not something that overwhelms them.

If you would like to get your anxiety under control then give me a call on 07525051263. I help people with anxiety issues in Brackley, Banbury and the surrounding areas and I can help you too.

7 easy peasy weight loss tips.

Some of us just don't want to work hard to lose weight. We don't have the time to spend 30 hours in the gym every week and the idea of not being able to eat crisps is less than appealing. 

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But it is possible to lose weight by making small but significant changes to your everyday routine. In fact, many of my clients have seen some dramatic results. 

So here are my top 10 weight loss tips that don't require very much effort. 

1. Stick a picture of your ideal self on the fridge. 

Maybe there's an old pic of you when you were slimmer and looking good. If you take that and stick it on the fridge, you'll be reminded of your goal and how good you looked. This means that when you reach for those extra snacks, you'll think twice at the moment that you see that awesome picture. 

2. Park in the furthest parking space that you can find. 

Whether at work, supermarket, shopping centre, whatever, try to park in the furthest spot away. This means that you'll have to walk to get to where you are going. And, if you have to walk some extra steps with some shopping bags in your hands then that great too. 

3. Take the stairs. 

Again, most of us are parking close to work, getting in the lift, only to sit down all day at work, leave the office, get in the car and sit down for dinner. All that sitting is bad for your health. So as well as parking further away, take the stairs to your office. You'll be moving more than you did before and in a few weeks, you might find that you start running up them. 

4. Sip water when you eat 

This tip is awesome because sipping water at meal times will slow down your eating. Many people have got into the habit of eating quickly which means that it becomes really easy to over eat. But if you take breaks in your meals to sip on water, you will force yourself to eat slower, enabling your stomach to tell you when you're full. 

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5. If you're going to drink swap beer and wine for white spirits. 

Okay, so alcohol is not the best thing when it comes to dieting. Alcohol is normally full of sugar, so its like eating a pudding that makes you also want to eat pizza at the end of the night. 

But for many people alcohol is also fun and a social outlet. Therefore, if youre going to drink swap beer and wine for white spirits. 

Its all about the calories. A standard 5% strength beer will have between 170 and 215 kcal per pint.

A standard measure of gin and slimline tonic only has 59 calories 

So if you're going to drink, then gin it is....

6. Wear your tight clothes for a day. 

You will have some clothes in the wardrobe that are a bit tight when you put them on. Get them out. A lot of us have no idea that we are putting on weight and can ignore it simply by buying a bigger size. But this tip is about forcing you to realise that it is happening and take action. 

By wearing these clothes for a day, you will put your weight to the front of your mind, you'll be able to feel roughly how much has gone on and you'll be inspired to get back into that outfit. 

7. After you have done number 6... take yourself shopping and buy an awesome outfit in a size smaller. 

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Treat yourself to that dress or shirt that you want to look good in. Buy it in the size you want to be and tell yourself that you're going to get there. Hang it in the place that you can see it. Imagine how awesome you're going to look and feel when you get there. 

I use these techniques with my clients and (many more) they have seen some great results. Weight loss isn't just about calories. Its about changing your attitude and your relationship with yourself. 

I hope that you find these tips useful but if you need even more of a boost then please call me on 07525051263. 









How do you really treat stress? Be more lobster!

There are a gazillion articles on google about stress; how to avoid it, treat it, stop it, prevent it etc etc…

Most of these articles will talk about very normal and sensible solutions to keeping stress under control. The good advice includes sleeping properly, eating properly, reaching out to friends, work life balance or breathing.

But, and this is a big but.

This advice doesn’t seem to help when we are in the midst of a stress episode.

In fact, when you are stressed, the very things that you are supposed to be doing such as sleeping, go out of the window.

Stress can turn you upside down.

So it how can we learn to use it instead of avoiding or getting rid of stress. 

Watch the video below, you may find it interesting. 


After you have watched the video, you will see that lobsters grow from the pressure that they feel inside their shell. Their shell isn’t working for them anymore.

So ask yourself. What is not working for me? Can I change it? If it can’t, can I change how I react?

Many people, mistakenly feel that if they are stressed anxious or depressed, that somehow they have become weak.

Not the case, most people will experience acute stress in their life as a result of something changing.

Whatever, what is, you will adapt in some way to that stress.

Stress changes us and even if you are in the midst of the most debilitating stress, the answer is to work out how to adapt and change as a result.

I can help you to do that.

Hypnotherapy can help you to unpick stress, see it in a different light and then use it to your advantage. As a result you will begin to feel calmer, happier and more connected to the world around you. 

I have already helped so many people from Brackley, Banbury and Oxfordshire to become better equipped when it comes to stress. 

If you are stressed and suffering because of it, then give me a call on 07525051263 and id be happy to help. 




I'm wide awake! Hypnotherapy for insomnia

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As the summer looms and the days become longer, I have noticed that sleep seems to be on everyone’s minds. Even the government are wondering whether we are getting enough shut eye.

But for some people, chronic insomnia is a nightmare in itself.

It’s that ongoing cycle of getting to bed time and dreading it because you hope that you will sleep but fear that you won’t.  Then lying awake, watching the small hours tick past whilst your mind zooms around relentlessly. Then comes the horrible fatigue as you are awoken by your alarm and have to contemplate how you are going to get through the day with so little rest.

People don’t sleep for all sorts of reasons and if it happens over and over again, then it can quickly become a habit.

Some people become so desperate that they visit the doctor for sleeping pills to knock them out. The problem with that is, that now, doctors are only likely to give you a prescription for a few weeks and then you are back to square one. So there is rarely any long term help from medication. 

It doesn’t matter how long you have been suffering for, hypnotherapy can help you.

When I work with insomnia, it tend to tackle it from all angles.

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·         First, we will work together to look at your life and what is triggering the lack of sleep.

·         Ill look at your response to stress and how that impacts on your nightly routine

·         Then we can look at getting your sleep habits back into shape as well as giving you some night recordings to reinforce what we will do in the sessions.

I will support and monitor your progress so that I can adapt to your needs in order to make sleepless nights a thing of the past.

If you are in the brackley, banbury or oxfordshire area then give me a call on 07525051263 so that you can start sleeping again. 

Struggling to lose weight? Try something different, try hypnotherapy instead

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The diet and fitness industry is huge. It literally makes billions per year, and there is always another diet around the corner to try. You will have heard or even tried most of these…



Meal prep

Membership programmes

Clean eating

Liquid detox


Dairy free

The Everything free diet!


I have met so many people who have struggled with dieting, they see no way of losing weight and all of a sudden it becomes a mountain that they cannot climb. 

The more desperate you become to lose weight the more diets you will try. 

The more diets you try, the more money you give to the diet industry.

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Millions of us try these diets only to find that the weight loss doesn’t last and our money goes down the toilet. 



There is a reason why your diet isn't working

Diets ignore your emotions and you emotions play a key role in your eating habits. What you need is lasting change, lasting results and weight loss that you can sustain. To do this you need to actually change your habits and the way that you think about food. Weight loss is about your attitude to food, how it fits into your life style and your relationship with the things that you are eating.

Hypnotherapy can change you and your weight, giving you the results that you want. 

If you need help with your weight and keeping it off. Call me on 07525051263 and lets get this under control

Sad Syndrome - help in Brackley, Banbury and Oxfordshire

Winter has historically and culturally been a significant time of year. There are wonderful events happening over the winter period and there is plenty going on.

But for some of us, winter is a dark time. With the lack of sun light and the cold weather, a lot of us stay in and some people start to feel really low.

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Its not surprising people start to suffer at this time of the year. Many animals go into hibernation, plants look dead and with the pressure of Christmas more and more people get into debt. This, combined with all of that time spent confined indoors, arguments can start.

As a result, this can add up to being a pretty miserable time.

You may even have got to the stage where you expect to feel bad over winter so you begin to dread it. And so, the cycle of winter depression starts to creep in.

If you feel like this, then I can assure you that this doesn’t have to happen every winter.

We can work together and get to the core of the issues that may be lurking underneath. Once you are free from those, we can have a look at rewiring your perception of the winter months and how you respond to them.

Rest assured, regardless of the season. You can feel happy, energised and able to deal with things. You can feel more like yourself again.

Hypnotherapy is great for SAD Syndrome. So if you are feeling down, I have offices in Brackley and Banbury.

Feel free to contact me on 07525051263 or use the contact page on my website.


Mental Illnesses hurt, no matter who you are.

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Chester Bennington. What a great man! I can still remember standing in mud which oozed over the top of my wellies as I watched him in concert. I can remember how I didn’t pay much attention to the mud because Chester had the kind of voice which caused you to forget that you had been standing in the pouring rain for hours. I love Linkin Park and they gave me such wonderful childhood memories.

So as you can imagine, I was just as confused and as shocked as everyone else when I heard that he had succumbed to his inner demons and put an end to his life.

First world problems

I walked into work when the news broke out and one of my colleagues said, ‘God, all that money, a Playboy bunny wife and all his fans loved him? I don’t get it. I would have been so happy.’

I found myself agreeing with him for a second. Most of us have probably thought about the idea that a lottery win might sort out our problems. Well, I’m afraid that mental illnesses simply don’t give a shit who you are or what you have.  Anyone can suffer from a mental illness and Ferraris, mansions and fame will do nothing to plug the hole which many feel gaping in their hearts. Tragically, some people will get to the point where the pain is so hard to live with that they may simply not want to continue living at all.

Living with mental pain

Suicidal feelings often arise when the pain, the situation, the guilt, the shame is so big that a person feels a need to make it stop.  They may begin to see nothing but an ugly future in which the issues and the feelings that they have in the now, are still there.

People around them will mutter empty nothings, that everything will be okay, that things will get better and to stop being so silly. They mean well but these words will fall upon deaf ears, because that person in the fog of a mental illness cannot see through the thickly cloying mists which swirl and close around them. They simply cannot see a way out.

There is a better way

The problem with suicide is that it’s the most permanent solution to a temporary problem. There’s no come-back, no room for second thoughts and no room for buyer’s remorse. Mostly.

Studies of those who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, and somehow survived, show that every single one of them regretted their decision as they plummeted towards the water. All of them experienced an overwhelming desire to live.

Of course, you don’t have to be rich and famous. I was working with a client, quite recently, who felt the very same way. She believed that her life had reached the point of no return and that only the gaping maw of a silent grave could swallow and remove her pain.

It wasn’t, I’m glad to say, true at all.

Thankfully, she reached out to me instead, and I took her hand, helping her find her feet on the path which – step by step – led to her recovery. She learned that tiny but significant actions began to restore her faith in her own ability to shape her life. She wasn’t merely a passive victim of circumstance. She had power and control.

She re-learned how to feel connected to the people around her and how to re-forge her relationship with life. Her wounds healed, her heart recovered and eventually her mind followed suit.

She’s now living happily with a new partner. Life is full of hope and those dreadful, dark days stand firmly in her past. I’m proud of her achievements and am proud to have played my part.

Please don’t give up. Hypnotherapy, psychotherapy and all sorts of talking services can help.

If you need more information, you're worried about someone or you need to talk, then please call 07525051263.








Harry Potter and Self Esteem? What's the link.

Self - Esteem is delicate. It can take years to build and yet a few simple words can raze it to the ground. I know how fragile it can be. Every day, I use hypnotherapy in Banbury, Brackley and Oxford to help people repair the damage which others have done to their confidence, their sense of self and their sense of worth.  

Watch the video! It’ll only take a few moments.  


Harry Potter’s teacher is a vicious little bully who does her best to destroy his self-esteem, his happiness and his future. As he writes, her words engrave themselves onto his hand, causing pain and drawing blood. She’s truly nasty, isn’t she!? 

She’s not alone. Bullies are more common than many people like to think. Their words can be cruel, destructive and mean. We all know how damaging bullies can be. Every school had one. Yours did too. I bet you even remember their name. 

But what if the abusive bully exists in your own mind? 

How do you talk to yourself? What kind of language do you use? Do you praise yourself for the good things you’ve done? Do you take pride in the good person you are? 

I thought not. 

If you’re here because you’d like to improve your confidence and self-esteem then it’s probably fair to say that you’re a bully. The problem is however, that you bully yourself! 

My clients will typically bully themselves into the ground. I shudder when they tell me how they treat themselves. I shiver when they relate how cruel they are – to their very own selves. 

The worst thing is – they’re often barely aware of how they do it. 

People become their own bullies 

Perhaps your parents began the process. Maybe it was a bully or two at school. Over time their words became normal. You began by wondering why you’d been singled out. You ended by feeling as if you knew. They were right to bully you. Their words became your words. Their voice became your voice. You became your own bully and nobody in the world can be crueller to your own self than you are.  

Those words are etched deeply into your soul 

The words etched into Harrys hand became deeper and deeper every time he went to detention and, given time, such destructive thoughts will leave their mark on anybody’s sense of self-worth and esteem. A mark was left on Harry’s hand and, in a similar manner. pathways are physically carved into your brain every time one of these horrible thoughts is allowed to exist, unchallenged. 

Over time those thoughts become automatic. They become ingrained and you may not even notice them as they wend their way through your brain.  

They do, however, leave a mark. They become normalised, routine and accepted as truth. The damage slowly accumulates over time.  

You’ve become your own bully. How could hypnotherapy help you to be free? 

It may seem hopeless. You may feel as if those thought patterns are so hard-wired that they can’t be undone. 

It’s not true, they can be. If you’re determined to change then they will be!  

I know this is true because I spend every week using hypnotherapy in Banbury, Oxford and Brackley to help people rewire their minds. What is learned can be unlearned. If you’d like to let go of repetitive and self-destructive thought patterns then please do get in touch. If you’d like to free yourself from that inner bully then give me a call. If you’d like to feel more confident, happier in your own self, more confident in your own skin and free, get in touch. 

I’d be more than happy to talk with you. I’ll be glad to explain how hypnotherapy could help you to be free of self-doubt, anxiety and pain. I’ll help you to heal those old wounds and to be free! 

Call me on 07525051263 or click the contact me button on the website to put poor self esteem behind you.

I look forward to hearing from you 



Depression is like a virus: Luckily, there is an antidote.

Depression is like a virus. When you are first infected, you barely notice that there is a problem but then the unhappiness begins to spread. Soon enough, the darkness starts to infect to your relationships, work, social life, motivation and to your perceptions. 



It may be a while before you begin to notice your own symptoms. Of course, everyone is different but you may start to feel the following:

  • A severe lack of energy and motivation
  • Endless fatigue and tiredness
  • Significant weight loss or perhaps weight gain
  • Feeling guilty, hopeless
  • Feeling as though nothing will get better
  • Feeling as though you may as well not be here

Carrying the burden of depression can be exhausting and this is why so many people who feel depressed often begin to act as though they are physically ill.

You may not be able to get out of bed and you may not have enough energy to go out with your friends. You may be so unwell that you find yourself off of work and unable to maintain the energy to complete tasks with an acceptable level of concentration.

Instead of aiding our own recovery, most of us tend to make it worse. 

Let's suppose that you had a broken leg or a bug that caused you to be unwell. The likelihood is that you would rest up, keep yourself hydrated, eat well and let your body mend itself. This seems perfectly logical. 

The problem is that when the mind needs to recover many of us actually take steps to make our symptoms of depression a whole lot worse.

Dark thoughts come in and instead of treating them for what they are, thoughts, you might start to believe them: 

Thoughts such as: 

'' How come I can't pull myself together? I'm just acting like a complete psycho,"


" I don't actually know how my partner puts up with me, I don't bring anything to this relationship anymore." 

" I have to go out but there is no point, I don't have anything interesting to talk about and i'll probably get on everyone's nerves."

"If I was x,y or z, i'd be able to deal with this."

On top of that you may start to become very submissive and instead of putting your own needs first, you may just start to agree with everyone else and put their needs ahead of yours because you believe that you have no importance. 

You end up feeling crushed under the weight of the depression and exhausted by your efforts to hide the way that you feel and carry on. 

How can Hypnotherapy help? 

Hypnotherapy can help you to accept where you are. Depression is horrible but often you tend to suffer more when you tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling the way that you do or that you just need to go back to the person that you were before. Accepting where you are can actually alleviate a lot of the pressure and put you on the road to recovery.

It can help you to bin the feelings of helplessness. 

At the minute, you may be feeling helpless, worthless and unworthy. But, I have to say that all of the clients who I have seen with depression are the exact opposite. In fact, many of them get further into a depressed state because they are determined, intelligent individuals with a lot going for them.

It is the same part of your mind that propel you forward and keep you motivated to do well in life that end up working against you when you feel awful about yourself.

Hypnotherapy can help you to hush the awful thoughts, calm the bad feelings and reconnect with the 'you' that is hiding underneath.

It can help you unravel the deep rooted causes and help you to move on 

Many people with depression do not often know the cause of it or why it is happening. When we feel physical pain we sometimes don't feel it at the original site of the injury. You may be having relationship or work difficulties and you may think that these are the issues that you need to get rid of.

Hypnotherapy can help you to get to the root causes of your depression and to change the way that you feel or relate to others as you start to feel better. You may then find that the arguments at home or the pressure at work starts to ease.

If you change the way that you think, feel and behave, you will quickly find that other aspects of your life change for the better too. Including your relationships with others.

I hope that this post has helped, if you need more information or help, then please feel free to call me on 07525051263. I'll look forward to helping you move past depression and into a better future.






Anxiety is a vicious creature: slay it and get your life back

Anyone who has had an anxiety disorder will know that anxiety is one scary beast.

The relentless burning in your chest when you wake up in the morning; the struggling to get anything past your mouth because you can’t swallow. Most of the time you might be going through your day wondering if people will notice that you can’t concentrate whilst you sit at your desk feeling completely out of control.