Anyone who has had an anxiety disorder will know that anxiety is one scary beast.
The relentless burning in your chest when you wake up in the morning; the struggling to get anything past your mouth because you can’t swallow. Most of the time you might be going through your day wondering if people will notice that you can’t concentrate whilst you sit at your desk feeling completely out of control.
Sometimes, you might feel completely stuck in your head, barely noticing the outside world as you mull over your thoughts again and again and again. Eventually they become automatic and relentless. Things that you used to enjoy become unbearable, and so, your life becomes a slave to anxiety itself. You fear the feelings and wish to god that they would leave you alone. You want them to leave you alone because you fear what might be coming next: depression? I’ll health? Job loss? Heart attack? Death? You may even be craving the person that were there before and begin to fantasise about all of the great things that you did.
Is there a way out of this hell?
Yes, there is! You need to know that no matter how you feel. No matter how bad it gets, and no matter how long you have been suffering with anxiety for, you can learn to feel better. You can recover.
Have a look at these tips for dealing with anxiety and if they help then great, but if you still need to talk then feel free to contact me and I will work to help you to overcome those ugly feelings and thoughts.
Before we start
Before, you try to work to eliminate anxiety it’s important to work out whether there is anything going on in your life at the moment. Perhaps, you are approaching a major relationship breakdown, your very first serious illness, or huge change in your life. If this is the case, then you can rest assured that sometimes anxiety appears as a reaction to our wider circumstances and this is completely normal. You wouldn’t be human if you could go through all of life’s tragedies without feeling emotional about it.
So relax take your time and recognise that your feelings are perfectly acceptable and should ease once life settles down into a new rhythm.
Anxiety could be telling you something
Okay, so, as you have probably heard time and time again, Anxiety is a primal response to danger. It has been there to keep us alive for a guzillion years and sometimes when we feel it, it is it genuinely because something isn’t right.
Perhaps, you have a boss who is constantly controlling you and shouts when you get something wrong to the point that you shake before meetings. Or you might be in a relationship that is doing you more harm than good. I knew a someone once who went on holiday and met a group of locals who tried to sell them a boat trip. The waves were high and the person said, ‘I just didn’t want to get in the boat.’ Her friend wasn’t as cautious and as she stepped onto the bridge came away from the stone wall and she broke her wrist. It cost of £12,000 in insurance claims to pay for it.
What you need to understand is that if you can cope with the situation but it feels wrong or bad for you then this is likely to be your gut instinct kicking in. It’s a good idea to take a moment, be brave and assess whether you should make a change in your life or say no.
We all have needs and so does your anxiety
Every single person has needs such as food, shelter, love and esteem. When you have these things you can grow and develop. If anxiety were a person then it’s needs would be fear and control. Whilst it has those things it will get bigger. You are feeding it. When you fear the anxiety symptoms when you stop doing the things that you once did, that beast is eating away your life and happiness and it’s getting stronger.
It’s time to be disobedient
Have you noticed that since you began suffering with anxiety you don’t do the things that you used to? You don’t enjoy things as much and you often say no do doing anything out of your comfort zone. Anxiety loves to see you in that state. It would hate for you to ignore the pictures in your head of a major plane crash, get on a plane and fly to your holiday destination. It would hate for you to go to work after being of sick with the anxious feelings and stay the whole day. It would be displeased if you decided to go to that party and crack that joke to complete strangers.
When you do get brave, it is likely to go mad for a while, shout louder and make feel worse for a while. But recognise that that is because you refuse to place the game. You refuse to live your life in fear.
Don’t try to get rid of it
It’s amazing how much better you feel when you let yourself be a certain way. Due to the fact that the symptoms of anxiety are so dreadful we try to get rid of them. You might find it difficult to sleep, hold yourself ridged to cope with the feelings or fidget. You may try to disguise it because by talking too much, pacing around etc. Just recognise that anxiety is adrenaline that needs an outlet. So next time it comes on, try your best make yourself more anxious (you’ll be amazed at the result). Pace faster, refuse to go to bed and talk faster. Every time you make this choice you will take it by surprise, shock it and take back the control.
Recognise that you have serious stamina
Most people who suffer from anxiety on a regular basis see themselves as wrong, weak, incapable and a fraction of who they once were. But you need to realise that if you can go around every day feeling the way that you do, with the symptoms that you have. If you can go to the lengths that you do to avoid situations and to make your life anxiety free, then you have some serious strengths. So you already have it within you to be disobedient, to listen to your gut and to deal with whatever situation you may be facing right now.
You can do it
I hope that you found this useful. If you can manage the anxiety on your own then great, but if you need a bit of help then get in touch. We can work together to get this anxiety under control so that you are free to live the life that you want. Just click the contact me button and we can look to get to work.